Dear Will, The silence was deafening yesterday and it was terrible. I understand why you drown yourself in loud music now. The hole inside me continues to grow. So is my bubble, pushing everyone away. Not that there's anyone to push in the first place lol. Things have been awkward between Wendy and I (maybe it's just me? idk), and I can't figure out why. It's like we're back to coursemates who first knew each other. Did I just came back from some exchange student programme for a year without knowing? I admit I did ran away on Tuesday walking home with the girls but that's cuz I need to go sharpen my knives and I really felt nauseous. Hey I'm not gonna get sick in front of them. They'd be all over me. Or worse, give you a pat then go away. Wednesday I turned down her invitation to eat dimsum because 1. It was a last-minute invitation. 2. Dimsum comes in threes. I'm the fourth. 3. I have chores to do. Then it's a downhill from there. I guess mum's right. I'm incapable in keeping friends around for long. It's okay. Nobody stays anyway. Well technically you did, but you will be leaving soon. I appreciate it though. Thank you. :) Yesterday's lecture involved what makes you happy. What makes you happy, Will? What makes me happy? I guess at this point, talking to you makes me happy, not sure if it makes you happy though. Don't want to be a burden or check-off list to you. And maybe feeling lonely without being alone will make me happy too. Hope you're having less shitty and cancerous days. See you when I see you. YJ 201710100244