Uh hii! So I randomly decided to journalize for the fun of it. Uh it's because I need to process my thoughts....since I've been starting to like a guy and it seemed that our communication is about to go downhill. Both of us are starting classes on September 5, but as of yesterday we are barely talking already...kinda sappy because I always prioritize him and keeps my availability on 100%, yet he's probably thinking that I'm just for timepass lol. Although he said that he liked me...but that's probably because I let him enjoy certain personalities of mine in which I never show anyone. First reason I did that is because I have to explore about emotions...I especially placed my bars too low and I was never this vulnerable with someone...yet I think maybe I opened up too much? At the expense of my real emotions? I've seen this one coming though...all things come to an end at some point, no matter how much I want this friendship to be long-term. He probably befriends me because of his personal advantages...yet I couldn't say that I wasn't taking advantage of his attention too. But damn, if this is for his best interests then so be it...He taught me lots of things, brought me emotions I didn't know exists...got the validation, assurance, and attention I didn't know I'll ever need. Man, I really like this guy...but dating him is damn impossible:< So yeah... should I keep this going? I genuinely like his attention 😂 the only problem is he'll not be getting what he wants anymore...kinda disadvantageous to him actually...I wouldn't be surprised if he stopped chatting altogether. Plus, maybe this is meant to be short-lived...sad but yea🤗 But if I were to be honest, I wanna have him for long...but I guess that's quite selfish on my part hehe Ah damn, I'm about to get ghosted 😩