↑ this was the last video i liked today It's currently 9.15 p.m. and honestly, I feel so drained. Yesterday I already skipped school and I couldn't do it again so I forced myself out of bed and got dressed. Socializing was hard and completely exhausted me to the point where I had to take one of my "depression naps" only to regain next to no energy, in fact, I felt more tired after that. I think that, mentally, I'm at a very low point right now, I can feel myself starting to spiral again. That may come from the trauma I brought up a while back, I did cry a lot and it felt relieving at first but now I get flashbacks again and it's hard for me to cope with that. I think that it's going to get better soon nonetheless, I've got some amazing cheery friends that hype me up whenever I need it and my boyfriend's got me too. He's quick to make me feel better about myself and I really appreciate that about him. We didn't see each other today, at least not in person, we did talk over the phone today though and that made me very happy! I felt a lot more energized than I did the whole day, because of him! He seems to actually he care. Knowing that someone cares and listens somehow helps me. Though he does not know that I'm spiralling again and I actually think that I won't tell him this time, because I don't want him to worry about me all too much. He deserves some peace, especially now, he's a bit sick and I really hope he gets better soon. Now, after talking to him, I feel a lot better. I actually fell down a rabbit hole of negative thoughts before he called me because I thought he was ignoring me and that led me to some other insecure thoughts, I really can't fathom how my brain still tries to pull that stuff like- I'm stable enough to talk myself out of these sorts of things though so all is good. I also decided to re-write the love letters for my boyfriend; I didn't really write new ones, I just copied them onto real paper because I wanted him to have them in physical form. They'll be a present for him when we reach our one year anniversary! I've decided to write one each month until one day before our anniversary, then I'll write the last one and he'll receive them the next day of course! I'm so excited already I really hope he'll like them. I'm sure that we'll reach this anniversary and many more, it seems like he is the perfect man for me <3